With spring in full swing, accompanied by the annual urge to “clean” whatever has been neglected for too long, it feels like it’s time again to chat about clutter.

I’ve written before about overstuffed closets, jumbled storage options, too many boxes of too much stuff that need to be sorted, dumped and donated. But this is not about that.

I’m not talking about the junk drawer. I’m talking about the junk folder.

It’s where odd emails addressed to me go to flounder until I can sort, delete or redirect them. I’m grateful to have an astute spam filter that helps separate the crap from the credible.

The folder requires my attention every few days. When I checked one morning this week, there were 99 suspicious emails in there. Four days prior, there were 97. Granted, some were misdirected, and many are from local senders that use “blanket” mailing lists. My email server dislikes those multiple-recipient programs and treats them like spam.

I’ve had my fill of unwanted, unsolicited emails for any kind of useless (to me, at least) product you can imagine. I don’t need an oil change in the 2008 Hyundai that was totaled in 2013. I have no use a translator device nor an “illumalyte headlamp.” I don’t want knock-off designer handbags or sunglasses.

I’ve never had your virus protection on my computer, so no – it hasn’t expired. (Ironically, this one – actually, about 18 per day of the same email with a different “sender” on each – warns me that if I don’t click, my “devices will become vulnerable for Hackers.” Alas, another similar one tells me that my computer has already been invaded by 168 viruses! Are they talking about their 168 emails?)

I’m not interested in giving a review for a store in which I don’t shop. I’m not suffering from hair loss. I don’t care about your CPAP lawsuit, and I can’t imagine the travesty that could result from a one-day bathroom renovation.

I don’t have diabetic nerve pain, nor a dog that barks. Oh, and I already know my credit score, thank you.

Wait … Is that why a “gentleman” has asked me to “facilitate and provide guidance for investment of funds” in my country? He says he has “access to a high-net-worth individual” who wants me to “facilitate relocation of her financial resources.” Sorry, not interested in money laundering either.

Does some creep out there really think I’ll respond to an email from “Emma sleep door HS,” especially if the body of the email is in German? Why does anyone think I’d respond to a headline that starts “Vision problems have nothing to do with your eyes”?

Also, I just received a note from “my friend” Bert. First, he hopes I’m fine. He supposedly works for a lathe machining service from China and wants to know if I have any projects in hand that they can quote for me. He wants me to feel free to send him my 3D drawings!

Who responds to such obvious scams as this?

Here’s another– cleverly disguised with extra letters in the sender’s name and the subject line: HCFonfirmationE sent me a note about “ZBillions inMcompensation paid outC alreadyS.” They say they have been “trying to contact me many times,” and I need only to click on the link they so kindly provided to learn more.

Someone named “The Unbreakable Brain” would like to alert me to common drugs that kill memory. Do I dare click on the link? Not a chance – but sadly, someone will.

And that poor somebody will then be bombarded with emails touting the wonders of memory-enhancing “pills.” Or, more likely, they will be allowing a virus to infect their computer via the link.

Nope, I’m not falling for that silliness. Time to declutter!