Chasing rainbows on the golf course

Once, just once, I’d like to come home from the practice range without innocently thinking, “I’ve got it, I figured it out, I’ve finally cracked the case!” only to have my exhilaration quickly tempered as I begin my very next round with a double bogey or worse, wondering whether life, or more specifically my golf life, is still worth living.

As we know, whether engaging a prospective client in the business world or preparing a special Thanksgiving Day dinner, it’s never a good idea to overpromise and underdeliver. Delayed, over-budget projects and a holiday bird encased in black soot are prime examples of disappointing outcomes. Yet time after time, we exuberant, overly optimistic golfers are tricked into an unrealistic set of self-beliefs, seduced by recent swing tips, golf equipment ads or those rare, isolated shots we hit that are the essence of perfection.

“Slash your handicap by 5 strokes in 5 minutes!” “Never miss a four-footer again!” “This simple move adds 30 yards to your drives!” These clickbait trappings are truly irresistible, and no one can blame us as we’re teased and cajoled into thinking we’re only an ant’s hop away from achieving golfing greatness.

Did you ever want something so badly you could almost taste it? No, I’m not talking about Savannah’s infamously delicious Leopold’s ice cream. I’m talking about something much more important than that: playing our very best golf when we want it most. You know how it is. We head out to the golf course thinking today is the day we’re finally going to slay the beast, and we end up at the 19th hole needing a calculator to tally our score.

Our heightened, unrealistic expectations seem to magnify the importance and difficulty of every shot. A three-foot, dead-level straight putt seems like a breaking, downhill six-foot slider. A forced carry over a gentle, winding creek feels like we need to cover the Calibogue Sound.

Following several unsuccessful attempts to win the Masters, Rory McIlroy lamented, “You have to be the eternal optimist in this game.” Optimistic, yes, but for those of us who don’t golf like Rory, a large dose of realistic expectations is also fitting and appropriate.

In the movie “A Few Good Men,” Tom Cruise, playing Lieutenant Kaffee, screams, “I want the truth!” Jack Nicholson, playing Colonel Jessup, fires back, “You can’t handle the truth!” Perhaps a few surprising statistics from the PGA Tour will finally convince us to reset our personal expectations.

Although we might think differently after watching tournament leaders dazzle us on golf telecasts, ShotLink data for the current year shows the average of all PGA Tour competitors is to hit only 60% of fairways and two-thirds of greens in regulation. These elite players make just half of their sand-save attempts and sink only 50% of eight-foot putts. With touring pro stats like that, why do we feel disappointment when our own games don’t measure up to our expectations?

One of my favorite Yogi Berra Yogi-isms is, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it!” For those of us wishful thinkers who chose the path where we struggle to achieve the game of our high hopes and dreams, it might be time to take the other path with reduced expectations, which may lead to more enjoyment of the game and, quite possibly, lower scores. To put it rather bluntly, it may be time for us to finally handle the truth!

Rich Bernstein is a resident of Sun City - Hilton Head. Rich has been experiencing the joy, challenges and frustrations of golf since his selection as the 6th player on his 5-player high school golf team.