It’s the small things

Loading and emptying the dishwasher, doing laundry, washing hands, holding a smile or a good thought, reading in the sunshine, listening to music — these everyday moments are often dismissed as “small things,” done without much thought and sometimes with a touch of resentment. Yet it’s often our focus on what we lack or what we think we want that keeps us from recognizing that these ordinary moments, taken together, make up much of the joy of life

While I’d love to have my own jet to never fly commercial again, a waterfront house in Maui, a pied-à-terre in Napa Valley and NYC, those things are unlikely and well outside my reach as result of choosing a career in teaching, as opposed to the Wall Street job I hated and left. Thinking about these small things as the holiday season closes out has given me pause to think about the big things I have.

• A wife who I love, who is my best friend and partner in everything
• My health, (albeit after years of abuse thanks to some gifted surgeons both in orthopedics and bariatrics)
• Two wonderful children, both of whom have spouses who make their lives all the better
• Four granddaughters who, this has been a clear reminder of, I don’t see nearly as much as I should.
• A warm, comfortable, well decorated, thanks to my wife Susan, home which is currently our very own fortress of solitude.
• Friends, acquaintances and students, all of whom continue to add joy to each and every day even if, most of the time these days with our relocation from most of them it’s via email, text, zoom but make the occasional visits that much more enjoyable.
• Incredible memories of times spent with folks and pets no longer with us. My parents who really allowed me to find my own way, encouraged me without pressing, allowed me to make screwed up choices that I learned from. Uncle Dominic P. Starace who really showed me what joie de vivre represented, and who largely shaped my future in so many ways. My maternal grandparents, both amazing cooks.
• The ever present spectre of Abbey The dog, physically gone almost a year as of this writing, but always in our hearts and mind.
• Equally incredible memories of folks still with us, including my Aunt Irene and Sue’s Aunt El, both in their 90’s but as sharp and youthful and as always a joy to be around, to talk to and to connect with.
• Still wanting to and being able to be active. To exercise, to golf, even if much of this has taken a different look courtesy of virtual reality, but with just as much sweat and effort, to swim, still wanting to surf again someday.
• Looking with wonder at ordinary, yet magnificent sunrises whether outside my slider in Bluffton or overlooking the ocean on vacation.

We all have people we know who are struggling in so many ways, health, money, loneliness, take a minute to think about them and how being there in some way for them will take your small things and elevate your joy from small to big.

I’ll let Taylor Goldsmith of Dawes close this out with a verse of his song “A Little Bit of Everything”

I want a little bit of everything,
The biscuits and the beans
Whatever helps me to forget
The things that brought me to my knees
So pile on those mashed potatoes
And an extra chicken wing
I’m having a little bit of everything

Kevin Fitzpatrick is a retired teacher who, along with his wife Sue (also a retired teacher) is enjoying exploring life in the lowcountry and all it has to offer.