Just Saying
In a moment of weakness, I bought something on the Internet late at night. It’s going to propel Hamish, my Scottish Terrier, into the 22nd century. That may sound a bit ambitious and a tad sarcastic, but Hamish and I are ready for the next frontier.
A few days later a package arrived in the mail. It held a contraption that is supposed to teach dogs to communicate with their owners by pressing small push buttons corresponding to the request they ask.
I kind of wished they had mailed it in brown paper wrapping so that my husband Bob (BBB) wouldn’t get started on the teasing instantly. Anywho…I opened it up like it was Hamish‘s first Christmas present.
Let’s just say he wasn’t as excited about it as I was, but he had to wait until BBB got back from buying 48 AA batteries to get it all started. After installing the batteries, you have to record sayings for each button. The first thing I recorded was “Do you want a treat?” “Are you hungry?”
I think I need to change that to “I want a treat” etc. so it sounds like it’s a request from Hamish. I sounded like a witch from Hansel and Gretel asking if they’d like a piece of candy…. very creepy. Each button is a different bright color which is interesting considering I read the dogs don’t recognize color.
A little background on Hamish. He’s the Jethro Clampett of Scottish Terriers – not that bright but good looking. Before covid, he won the AKC American bred male Scottish Terrier championship. He’d wink at the judges and Boom… blue ribbon! I never taught him that but at home it was a different story.
He’d give you his paw reluctantly, but he drew the line on rolling over, sitting up on his back haunches, etc. Nope, none of that for him. I had big plans on him being the dog version of a gigolo, but apparently, I was too ambitious for that. Let’s just say that my plans on having him be my four-pawed Romeo with puppies galore left much to be desired after Covid quarantine.
Anyway, it was hard enough hearing the button commands above Bob’s laughter. When I said I was going to dedicate a button to finding his keys, tv remote, and eye glasses, it made a whole different perspective on helping Fido find whatever was on the button. I did mention that he, himself, had a button/bell for beer – not that I was ever compelled to race to the fridge and retrieve a Coors light.
Between BBB making fun of me and my hitting the “hungry” button 200 times to make a connection, I’d have to say I wasn’t seeing too much progress. Of course, Hamish may be smarter than I give him credit for because after about 10 pounds of cheese and roast beef he still needed schooling.
I’m convinced I haven’t found the perfect connection besides food that would make a dog go “say what?” with the look of recognition. Once Hamish sat down on a button with his large butt requesting treats and I felt like Annie Sullivan teaching Helen Keller how to understand the word water.
Maybe I’ll go down to the local dog shelter and spend an hour or two teaching dogs there how to find car keys and eyeglasses, etc. Who wouldn’t want to adopt a sweet dog that could find the TV remote control?
As for my furry loyal best friend, he’s content to spend quality time with me on the floor playing with the pretty colored buttons. His tail seems to be wagging more, and I swear I saw him wink at me…just saying.
