Life requires maintenance

There’s a certain kind of behavior that can rub people the wrong way — not because someone asks for help, but because sometimes the help being asked for doesn’t really seem necessary.

Recently at Forsyth Park in Savannah, I overheard a vendor ask a young man walking by, “Are you a nice man? Would you mind helping me pull my cart to my car?” It was a simple interaction, harmless on the surface, but something about it stuck with me.
Maybe it was the phrasing. Maybe it was the assumption behind it. Because the woman didn’t appear unable to handle the task herself. She sold lightweight items like jewelry and napkins, and from the outside looking in, it seemed more like a moment of convenience than actual need.

And that’s where the bigger thought came in.

At some point, people stopped valuing self-sufficiency the way they used to. Not independence in the extreme sense — everyone needs help sometimes — but basic personal responsibility. Taking care of yourself physically. Staying capable. Preparing yourself for the kind of life you want to live.

If someone chooses work, hobbies, or lifestyles that require physical effort, then maintaining the ability to do those things matters. That doesn’t mean perfection. It just means trying. Moving your body. Taking care of your health. Being mindful about what’s put into it. Remaining strong enough to manage your own daily life for as long as possible.

Because there’s pride in being able to handle things yourself.

Somewhere along the way, society also started placing responsibility for personal happiness onto everyone else. People ask if a spouse “makes” them happy. Friends are expected to constantly lift people up. Strangers are expected to step in and smooth over discomfort or inconvenience.

But happiness is really an inside job.

So is discipline.

So is self-care.

So is resilience.

Of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with help. If someone has support, assistance, employees, movers, trainers, or people helping make life easier — wonderful. There’s no shame in that at all.

But there’s a difference between truly needing help and casually expecting others to carry things people are capable of carrying themselves.

Maybe that’s why the small moment lingered.

Because there’s something admirable about people who quietly handle their own load. The people who make the extra trip. The people who figure it out. The people who stay capable, adaptable, and self-reliant without expecting the world to constantly step in for them.
And honestly, that mindset might be one of the most important forms of self-care there is.

Wendy Kushel is the owner of Wendala’s LowCountry Sugar Scrub, LLC based in Bluffton. Drawn to the beauty and personal care industry, Wendy founded her company in 2020. Her background includes stand-up comedy, film, TV and a lot of sales and marketing. For more information about Wendala’s® LowCountry Sugar Scrub visit www.lowcountrysugarscrub.com or call/text 843-949-8933.