The golf gods are watching

I’ll admit it — it’s my own fault. I’ve no one to blame but myself, and having played golf for many years, I should have seen this coming. What started as an innocent question posed by a well-intentioned friend has cast a doomsday, Armageddon-like spell over my golf game, pitting the forces of good versus evil, with good most often finishing a distant second.

It wasn’t my friend’s blameless “How’s your golf game?” inquiry that initiated my downfall. It was my too-quick, overconfident response that brought about this mysterious, destructive magic. My “Actually, my game’s been great — I’m hitting the ball better than I have in years” comment apparently poked the bear.

Although I instantly regretted my reckless response, I knew it was too late, as they say, what’s done is done, and you can’t unring a bell.
I might have gotten away with it had my reply been whispered, or jotted down on a pad to be handed in silence to my friend, but my self-assured, bravado-like reaction was spoken out loud in the hallowed halls of the clubhouse — where they live, where they sleep, where they scheme each day to dish out rewards or punishment to unsuspecting players — they, the golf gods, I mean.

Although we don’t understand how, we do know with certainty the golf gods possess powers to release limitless trickery, covering the entire course like pixie dust, drifting over every tee, fairway, bunker and green. The driving range and short-game practice areas also receive a covering of golf god dust. After all, the gods would never miss an opportunity to dole out some pre-round overconfidence, fragile as it subsequently might prove under the pressures of actual play.

It doesn’t take much to stir the angst of golf’s supreme beings; a confident smirk, a twirl of a club, a breakfast ball, a mid-round mulligan, a nudge of a ball from a bad lie, a gimme putt outside the circle of friendship, disrespecting your golf buddy’s birdie tee honors, a mid-flight plea promising that if you are granted a good break you will never make that swing fault again are all sure-fire ways to get their attention.

The 2026 pro golf tour season is off and running, and no one, regardless of skill level, is exempt from the fury of the golf gods. At this year’s Dubai Invitational, golfing great Tommy Fleetwood shot successive opening rounds of 69 and 78. His second-round flare-up was inexplicable, defying all logic and making no sense unless, of course, you consider the influence of the golf deities, who clearly rejoiced as they attacked his otherwise outstanding performance, leaving their telling fingerprints on his Round 2 scorecard.

Thinking about our own games, is there any plausible, physical explanation for previously unprecedented actions resulting in our whiffs, yips, shanks or missed two-footers? Of course not. The only possible answer is the universal, paranormal, supernatural influence of the golf gods. When our strengths become our weaknesses and our weaknesses, following a few successful shots, tease us with false confidence, there is no interpretation other than the indisputable, undeniable existence of the golf gods.

When we’ve been disappointed and threatened to give up the game after seventeen holes of poor play, is there any reason, other than the existence of golf’s teasing supreme beings, for our unexpected perfect play on the final hole?

Rich Bernstein is a resident of Sun City - Hilton Head. Rich has been experiencing the joy, challenges and frustrations of golf since his selection as the 6th player on his 5-player high school golf team.