The opposite of golf
Do you remember, when we were kids, they had “Backwards Day” or “Opposites Day” at school? We would dress backwards by wearing our clothes inside-out, walk to school backwards, read sentences in our books backwards, and even eat our lunches backwards by starting off with dessert and finishing with a sandwich. When school was over, we would extend the excitement of the day of opposites by having breakfast food for dinner and wearing our clothes to bed.
Fun for sure, but little did we think those silly days of innocent confusion would actually serve as valued preparation for the most backwards, opposite-minded game ever invented — welcome to the world of golf!
Virtually all other sports have a ball in motion, requiring a spontaneous, athletic, mindless reaction. Golf is the total opposite, with a stationary ball that menacingly dares us to hit to our intended target, while providing way too much time to clutter our brains with a myriad of mechanical and negative thoughts.
Before we head to the first tee, our practice sessions at the range are often in total opposition to our actual play on the course. If we have a great warm up at the range, heaven help us out on the course — many a golfer has wasted all their best shots with their flawless pre-round practice sessions.
Haven’t played for an extended period and have extremely low expectations? Don’t be surprised if the opposite occurs and you have a great round. Have you been on a hot streak and are out to beat your personal best? Sorry to disappoint, but your swelled confidence and presumption of brilliance are often doomed by the ever-present law of averages.
The idea that these opposites — your longest shot of the day (a 200-yard drive) and your shortest shot of the day (a 3-inch putt) each count as an identical single stroke, makes no sense whatsoever! Low scores are better than high scores — totally illogical!
We hit the ball to the right to go left, to the left to go right, swing up to go down and then swing down to have the ball go up! Swinging slow and smoothly results in our longest shots, while fast, aggressive swings often yield disappointingly short mis-hits.
We hit dead straight, precision-like drives on forgiving, wide fairways and wander aimlessly offline on tight layouts, when we need our tee-balls to be pinpoint accurate. Clubs that go the furthest have the lowest numbers imprinted on their heads, while the highest numbered clubs are used for the short and delicate shots around the green.
We can get a wonderful result with a terrible shot and a terrible result with a wonderful shot. Players with the best swings get beaten every day of the week by players with terrible swing motions. Perhaps Ben Hogan’s famous quote sums it up best — “Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.”
During any given round of golf, we feel overjoyed one moment and filled with despair the next. We adore it, we hate it, we master it, it defeats us — the list of golf’s opposites seems endless. As they say, opposites attract, so it’s no surprise why we are enthralled with this diabolical, illogical, backwards, opposite game of golf!
Rich Bernstein recently moved to Sun City - Hilton Head. He has been experiencing the joy, challenges and frustrations of golf since his selection as the 6th player on his 5-player high school golf team.
